Unexpected Conversations
by Magiwren
Summary: This is just gonna be a bunch of conversations between characters from different books. Please give me requests!
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Okay. This isn't really a story, I mean, it could be if you'd like. You can ask me to write it if you want or I give you all full permission to use anything you'd like from this. I really don't mind!_

 _Anyway, these are conversations between characters from Carry On and characters from the Percy Jackson books. I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you enjoy! Feel free to give me requests for other conversations between people!_

 _ **Warning!**_ _This may contain some spoilers for those who haven't read the books. So, if you mind spoilers then I wouldn't read this. Other than that, hope you like!_

* * *

 **Percy Jackson and Simon Snow conversation.**

Percy: "Do not even get me started on how my life was ruined by one stupid prophecy!"

Simon: "I know, right?!"

Percy: "I'm so glad you understand! Almost no one else does…. Other than this one guy. His name was Harry."

Simon: "Sounds like a cool dude."

Percy: "He was. I think he said he was kinda famous, like you."

Simon: "Man, I gotta meet this guy.

 _(A short silence where they're both lost in thought for a moment.)_

Percy: "I can breathe under water."

Simon: "I have dragon wings and a tail that I can't get rid of."

Percy: _*Holds up his fist for a fist-bump*_ "Dude, nice."

 **Rachel Dare and Agatha Wellbelove conversation.**

Rachel: "But it turned out he was in love with Annabeth the whole time! It's really too bad, I would have loved to date him."

Agatha: "I know. You don't even know how hard it was to date Simon when he was obviously head over heels for Baz."

Rachel: "That must've been hard."

Agatha: "It was."

Rachel: "I guess it all worked out in the end though, huh? I wouldn't want to cause Annabeth any pain just because we like the same guy."

Agatha: "Honestly, I'd _pay_ someone to smack those boys over the head for being so stupid about the whole thing."

Rachel: "Ugh! Tell me about it!"

 **Annabeth Chase and Penelope Bunce conversation.**

Annabeth: "He's an idiot. A complete seaweed-brain. An utter dolt!"

Penelope: "Do you think they'd be smarter if they were girls?"

Annabeth: "It's a long-shot."

Penelope: "I just wish Simon would be smarter about things, instead of jumping in headfirst and worrying about consequences later!"

Annabeth: "I know!"

Penelope: "They're both idiots."

Annabeth: "Fools."

Penelope: "Feather-brains."

Annabeth: "Block-heads."

Penelope: "But… that's why I love him."

Annabeth: "Wouldn't take Percy any other way."

 _(Silence. In which Annabeth starts cutting grass in half with her knife because she's bored.)_

Penelope: "You're really _killin it_ over there."

At the same time Annabeth says: "This is a really _magical_ moment, huh?"

They point at each other: "Eeeeeyyyyy!"

 **Chiron and the Mage conversation.**

Chiron: "I've just been trying to protect him this whole time."

Mage: "I know!"

Chiron: "Why can't he understand that?"

Mage: " _RIGHT?_ "

Chiron: "I only have his best interests at heart."

Mage: "Yes! And so what if I killed his friend, the goatherd, tried to kill his _other_ friend, and attempted to take his magic away even though the Humdrum was _obviously_ already defeated. I totally—"

Chrion: "Whoa, wait. What? You actually did all that?"

Mage: "Yeah. But it's fine because I completely had his best interests—"

Chiron: "No, dude. Why would you do that? That's terrible!"

Mage: "What?"

Chiron: "Seriously, dude? Go to your room and think about what you've done."

 **Kronos and the Humdrum conversation.**

Kronos: …

Humdrum: …

Kronos: …

Humdrum: …..

Kronos: "So…."

Humdrum: "No, dude, we don't have to talk."

Kronos: "Okay."

 _ **And finally, the one you've all been waiting for….**_

 **Nico di Angelo and Baz Pitch conversation.**

Nico: "I'm the most unpopular kid in Camp Half-Blood."

Baz: "Not as bad as me. Do you _know_ what they do to vampires where I come from?"

Nico: "Still, you'd think I represented the plague from the way people avoid me."

Baz: "Psh! Yeah, your life is so hard. I'd be cast from the book with my teeth ripped out, and that's only if they let me live."

Nico: "Well, being the son of Hades isn't exactly welcome either. I've been turned into a corn plant, my sister died, Percy barely trusts me, my own father—who is Hades by the way—thinks I'm a disappointment, and millions of people all over the world are shipping me with every single male character in Camp Half-Blood!"

Baz: "My mother died when I was a baby—"

Nico: "So did mine!"

Baz: "—my family refuses to even _talk_ about how I'm a vampire, everyone at Watford basically hates me, and now I'm stuck dating a guy who's got dragon wings on his back and can't make them go away!"

Nico: ….

Baz: ….

Nico: "At least you get to date _your_ crush."

Baz: …..

Nico: _*Sighs heavily*_

Baz: "Alright, you win!"

* * *

 _A/N: So there you have it! Hope you liked. Please give me requests on who you want me to do conversations between next, I really enjoyed it!_

 _~Magiwren._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Okay, this was requested a while ago by Aureliabunny. Man, it's been so long, I've been having such horrible writer's block for, like, a long time. But I think I'm finally starting to find my groove again and will hopefully be posting more often. Guess we'll see!_

 _Honestly, this one is so obvious, I can't believe I didn't write it earlier. Hope you all like it!_

 _ **Warning!**_ _May have spoilers._

* * *

 **Harry Potter and Simon Snow conversation.**

Simon: "So."

Harry: "So…"

Simon: "You're the famous Harry Potter I've been hearing about?"

Harry: "I guess so. And you are..?"

Simon: "Bruh, I'm Simon Snow. Famous magician who defeated the Humdrum? How could you not know me?"

Harry: "I dunno, guess you just don't really strike me as someone really… I don't know. Rememberable?"

Simon: "I am just as cool as you! I gave up my magic to save the world! I got a pair of fricking dragon wings that I _still_ can't get rid of."

Harry: "Oh, uh, that's cool. I rode a dragon once."

Simon: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Harry: "I thought we were talking about dragons!"

Simon: "We're talking about how ridiculous it is that you don't know who I am!"

Harry: "I'm sorry, man! I'm sure I've heard of you before. But, I mean, you kinda sound like a ripoff sometimes."

Simon: "How dare you! I am a different person!"

Harry: "I know, but… We're _really_ similar, man."

Simon: "Not true! My parents are both dead - I'm an orphan."

Harry: "Seems like kind of an intense place to start, but yeah, same."

Simon: "Oh. Well I'm the most powerful magician anyone's seen in years. I've got a prophecy."

Harry: "Same."

Simon: "I've got a really smart female friend that I'm not romantically interested in, but she means the world to me and I would kill anyone who hurt her."

Harry: "Uh… yeah, same again."

Simon: "Fuck."

Harry: "Well, you've got me there. I've never said that word in my life."

Simon: "Really?"

Harry: "Yeah. I think I may actually be incapable of saying it. I'm more kid-friendly, y'know?"

Simon: " What? I'm plenty kid-friendly!"

Harry: "Are you?"

Simon: "Of course! Baz says I'd make a _great_ dad."

Harry: "Who's Baz?"

Simon: "My boyfriend."

Harry: "So… you're gay?"

Simon: "No."

Harry: "Dude, you _cannot_ be in denial when you're literally dating a guy! Don't worry, I had a gay professor once. Heck, _I've_ been accused of being gay before. Multiple times. With different people. Mostly Malfoy. ANYWAY! The point is it's fine-"

Simon: "Potter, shut up. I'm not gay. I'm bi."

Harry: "What?"

Simon: "Bi. As in bisexual. As in likes both genders?"

Harry: "Well, you could have said something earlier! After all, gay and bi aren't really different."

Simon: "Don't you fucking get me started, Potter! Bi and gay are different! Purple is a separate color even though it's a mix between red and blue-!"

Harry: "Alright! Sorry, my bad!"

Simon: "Damn straight. And while we're talking about differences… me and you. We are also different…"

Harry: Oh Merlin…"

 **Hermione Granger and Penelope Bunce conversation.**

Hermione: "Have you ever heard of the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare?"

Penelope: "Do I look like an uncultured swine? Of course!"

Hermione: "Really? You don't think it's stupid?"

Penelope: "What's stupid about ending slavery? It's a serious subject."

Hermione: "I know! None of my friends believed me. Said they wouldn't join anything called S.P.E.W. or something else stupid like that."

Penelope: "It's because both of your friends are men."

Hermione: "You think so?"

Penelope: "'Course. Hermione, listen. In the world we live in today, no one takes the smart girl seriously. They think we're a joke! But let me tell you: if it weren't for girls like us, those boys would have died a long, _long_ time ago."

Hermione: "Oh, you don't have to be a genius to know that. The trouble I've had to get some of them out of! It's hard to believe that they can get themselves into some of the things I've had to fix."

Penelope: "Yeah. Anyway, S.P.E.W."

Hermione: "S.P.E.W.!"

Penelope: "We may need to work on that name."

Hermione: "Yeah. Over lunch?"

Penelope: "Of course! I'm starving."

 **Draco Malfoy and Baz Pitch conversation.**

Draco: "Hello, Pitch."

Baz: "Hi."

Draco: "It appears we've been forced to engage in conversation."

Baz: "Indeed."

Draco: …

Baz: …

Draco: "I hear you're a vampire?"

Baz: "Yep."

Draco: "You touch me and my father will hear about this."

Baz: "I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure _ferret_ blood tastes better than you."

Draco: "I really _do not_ want to talk about ferrets. Ever."

Baz: "Oh?"

Draco: "I have some history, we'll just leave it at that."

Baz: "Well now I'm curious."

Draco: "Then let's change the subject! I hear you and that Snow boy like to snog in the middle of forest fires."

Baz: "Are you kidding me right now?"

Draco: "Y'know, I've been accused of being gay before."

Baz: "I can see it."

Draco: "What?"

Baz: "Nothing."

Draco: "But I don't really understand why. In all honesty, I'm kind of a homophobic and would prefer the gay type to stay far away from me."

Baz: "Were there any gay people at Hogwarts."

Draco: "Not that I know of. I was kind of preoccupied."

Baz: "With what? Obsessing over Harry Potter?"

Draco: "Wha- Of course… not! Why would you think that? It's not _obsessing_. I was being a nemesis."

Baz: "Uh-huh."

Draco: "When is this conversation over? I want to leave!"

Baz: "So, you're _sure_ there wasn't a gay person you would know of at Hogwarts?" *raises eyebrows*

Mysterious voice: "Me."

Baz and Draco: "Who was that?"

Dumbledore: *pokes head out of door and grins* "Me. I'm gay as hell." *pokes head back inside and disappears*

Baz and Draco: "Wow."

 **Luna Lovegood and Agatha Wellbelove conversation.**

Agatha: "Blondes."

Luna: "You're blonde."

Agatha: "I know. I'm saying blondes are given so much crap for no reason. I'm blonde but I'm not dumb. Yet, people still act like I am."

Luna: "Aw."

Agatha: "Y'know, I get so much hate just because I'm the girlfriend that kind of liked the other gay guy and thought about him one time. I never actually _did_ anything! Simon's an idiot but I would never do anything to hurt him if it became clear to me that those two were obviously the real deal."

Luna: "That's terrible."

Agatha: "I'm sorry, I'm just rambling on about myself. What about you?"

Luna: "What about me?"

Agatha: "Don't you have something you wanna rant about and get off your chest? I mean, you're pretty and blonde, too, surely you get frustrated that people don't take you seriously."

Luna: "People think I'm crazy. Maybe I am. But as long as I have friends I don't really see a lot to complain about. But what about you? It didn't sound like you were done."

Agatha: "Oh, me. I could go on for hours and I don't really think you want that. To put it shortly, I just don't feel like I'll ever be taken seriously, you know? I'll either be pretty, or I'll be something else. I can't ever seem to be pretty _and_ smart. It's one or the other. I don't know, it's just hard."

Luna: "Well, I'm not very smart either. Or at least people say I'm not. I think I can see things others can't. But that doesn't make be stupid. I like to think that I'm in the middle."

Agatha: "I wish I could say stuff like that."

Luna: "You can. Anyone can do anything in my opinion."

Agatha: "Yeah. Maybe for some. Well anyway, it seems that we're almost out of time. Thanks for chatting with me, Luna."

Luna: "Of course. Oh, and Agatha?"

Agatha: "Yes?"

Luna: "For what it's worth. _I_ think you're _very_ pretty and smart."

Agatha: *with blushy cheeks and big eyes* Oh… I- Thank you…"

 **Voldemort & Severus Snape and the Mage conversation.**

Mage: "You're evil."

Voldemort: "So are you."

Mage: "I am not! I'm trying to save the world."

Voldemort: "Nobody likes you. That makes you the bad guy."

Snape: "It's true."

Mage: "What about Darth Vader? People _love_ him and he's evil!"

Voldemort: "What is a Darth Vader?"

Snape: "Sounds like something only evil people know about."

Mage: "What?! No! Whatever. I'm good!"

Voldemort: "You're really not."

Snape: "Nope."

Mage: "Yeah, well. You don't have a nose!"

Voldemort: "That's it! _Avada Kedavra!_ "

Snape: "Holy-!"

 **Ginny Weasley and Nicodemus conversation.**

Nicodemus: "Hey, little girl."

Ginny: "Vampire, I'm the badass girlfriend of Harry Potter. When I was eleven I got kidnapped by a giant snake hiding inside the school and lived to tell the tale. I have snuck into the Ministry of Magic and fought with Death Eaters. I became one of the best players on the Quidditch team. I fought against Bellatrix Lestrange in an all out war at Hogwarts where my precious brother was killed. And let me tell you right now; if you take another step towards me, I will destroy you."

Nicodemus: "Okay then. I think we're done."

 **Albus Dumbledore and Natasha Pitch conversation.**

Dumbledore: "Running a school is not easy, let me tell you."

Natasha: "Amen."

Dumbledore: " _Especially_ running a school for juvenile magic children."

Natasha: "Preach."

Dumbledore: "I mean, _Muggle_ children are annoying. I'm not sure how we've survived so long with _magic_ ones."

Natasha: "Yas."

Dumbledore: "I ain't ever havin' any."

Natasha: "Oh, I know. I love Basilton more than anything. He's my world. But I'm glad I didn't have any more."

Dumbledore: "Let's go drink alcohol because we're two very dead adults and we do what we want."

Natasha: "You said it sistah."

Natasha and Dumbledore: *snap figures and stroll out of the room like the sassy headmasters they are*

* * *

 _A/N: Dang… now I ship Agatha and Luna a lil' bit. And don't even ask me to explain the Natasha and Dumbledore conversation because I cannot._

 _I had a lot of fun writing this. I would like to thank Aureliabunny for requesting this and starting to get me back in the groove. Feel free to request any other unexpected conversations! If I know what it is I'll probably write it!_

 _I'm hoping to finish a few more fics soon. (I'm in the middle of working on a Yuri! On Ice one right now so that'll be fun.) I hope you all liked the chapter! Please review and I hope you all have a wonderful day… or night… have a wonderful LIFE!_

 _~Magiwren_


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